Have you ever caught yourself wanting to hand everyone in your life a detailed script? I’ve been there — imagining how perfect life could be if only everyone did things my way. The truth is, my struggle with control stems from a deeper battle with anxiety. I crave predictability and certainty, and when life feels chaotic, I respond by grasping for control in every area — my work, my parenting, and even my marriage.
One of my favorite verses, Proverbs 19:21, reminds me: “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” The irony is not lost on me. I make all these plans, orchestrate details, and then God gently reminds me that His purpose will prevail, not mine.
When my husband and I first got married, I remember watching him fold towels. I should have been grateful he was helping, right? But instead, I followed behind him, refolding the towels because they weren’t done my way. I quickly learned after refolding many towels that it doesn’t have to be my way. My husband’s way isn’t wrong; it is just different. But at the end of the day, the towels get folded.
This desire to have things just so doesn’t stop at laundry. It shows up in my work, where I struggle to delegate tasks. I convince myself that no one can do the job as well as I can, which leads to exhaustion and unfinished projects. It also shows up in my parenting. I want to create a picture-perfect family, and when things don’t go according to my vision, I get frustrated.
The Bible speaks clearly about God’s sovereignty: “The Lord of hosts has sworn: ‘As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand…’” (Isaiah 14:24). These words are both comforting and convicting. God’s plans are perfect, and no amount of my micromanaging can improve them.
But here’s where I struggle. I know God’s plans are better than mine. I know that His purposes cannot be thwarted. Yet, I still find myself holding on tightly to control because of anxiety. What if things don’t turn out the way I hope? What if my loved ones face challenges I can’t fix?
When I reflect on who God is, I realize that my confidence should be in His character, not my own plans. God is good. Psalm 119:68 says, “You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.” He is love. 1 John 4:8 reminds us, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” He is a good Father who desires the best for His children. Matthew 7:11 says, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” He is holy and cannot lie. Numbers 23:19 says, “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Everything He does is rooted in His perfect goodness.
Knowing this should give me peace. If God, who is all-knowing and all-powerful, is in control, why would I trust my limited perspective over His divine wisdom?
The truth is, my attempts to control are often rooted in fear. But God’s Word offers peace. Job 42:2 says, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” This verse reminds me that God is in control — not me — and His plans will always come to fruition.
I’m learning that surrender doesn’t mean giving up; it means trusting and obeying. It means releasing my grip and letting God lead. When I try to control every detail, I’m not leaving room for God to work. But when I surrender, I’m acknowledging that His ways are higher than mine.
Dear sisters, if you struggle with control, you are not alone. Let’s remind each other to trust in God’s sovereignty. Let’s be women who surrender our plans to the Lord and find peace in His purpose.
And the next time you catch yourself refolding towels or rewriting someone’s “script,” take a deep breath and remember: God’s got this. We don’t have to. 🌿
